Alex Aesthetics

here's a set preview of my last photoshoot with simmons tobias.

click on the image to see the rest!

the hair was done by lindsey means. what do u guys think of it? im thinking about rocking it like that from now on!

were organisisms with the ability to flow with the current & glide in the breeze...

to change our enviroment & have our enviroment change us.

i used to need to be in control of everything.

i used to think we take our present and mold our futures.

i'm starting to realize that the world changes us...

as much as we changes the world...

and i'm starting to see it as a beautiful thing.

me & mickey77 in our friend's designs (i'm cuvvuring my belly cuz i was bloated) :(

my friend suzy banyon has a line of how-to videos. shes asked me to be in her holloween fore one. if u ever wondered how to... check the video out!

so my mother's dad (my grandfather) died last week. don't apologize...

1. it wasn't your fault

2. i wasn't close with him

my mom and i have been not been talking for a while. she doesn't like that i don't live a conventional life. she'd rather me work in an office like my father did, wearing a suit and tie to work everyday... spending 8 hours in a cubicle and having a 1 hour lunch break. whenever we talk for too long, she gets angry because i somehow (whether by my tattoos, or my clothes, or my piercings, or my career) remind her of her dream son and how i am not it.

anyways, she called me... voice very shakey, telling me that "grandpa had died" - asking me to come home... so i went home.

i asked my mom how she was. she said she was ok. we talked about her father. i asked him how old he was... he was 90 something. i asked him if he was happy in the period in his life before he died... apparently he wasn't a very happy person, but he wasn't unhappy when he died. i reminded my mother that he had lived a full life. that when he was born cars hadn't been invented yet. i reminded her that he had seen china change from a democracy to being overun by communists, paddled a boat fleeing to taiwan, and seen his offspring come to america. he lived to see his children have children and be prosperous. i reminded her that he lived a full and happy life. she smiled even and said... "yeah, he was really old wasn't he?" that visit went flawlessly, no arguments about my appearance. no arguments about my future. no arguments. just a mother and a son appreciating each other. its always odd how deaths brings the living closer.

my mom had to leave for taiwan for his funeral. she asked me to watch her house in oc and over my younger brother (19). so this weekend, i spent the weekend here in orange county, california. it was good bonding with my brother. when i was younger i was selfish and always ignored him, or didn't include him, and was off doing my own thing. then i left for college. i always felt guilty becuase my brother had no dad (our dad committed suicide when i was 12) and to be honest... he never really had an older brother either.

my brother is 19 and still doesn't know how to drive. it's not his fault really... because my mom wants him to stay "babyish" and doesn't want him to... so no one is there to teach him. so while i was here in orange county, i let him drive my truck around. can i tell you how nerve wracking it is sitting there trying not to panic so that my brother doesn't panic and crash and kill all of us? we had a lot of bonding time. we sat around and talked about the world, and i found out he was starting to get into photography! luckily his older brother is an agency signed model! so we did a photoshoot in oc. here's a preview of one of the images:

my brother's only beginning so the images were simple and were meant to depict "an erryday" sort of look. wat do you think? does my younger bro have a chance? i know that 1 image is hard to judge a photographer's quality by, but don't worry more images will be up soon!

i leave back for my apartment in LA tomorrow. i'm going to miss hanging out with my little brother, but its going to be good getting back to my own life. i'm glad that my grandfather lives such a full life, and i'm glad that this incident though sad... has brought me closer to my family once again.

my friend kira von sutra needed models for a shoot her makeup school was doing. micky77 and i were asked to do it.

let me know what you think of the make up! click the picture to see more!

my friend stacey turned 21 last week. to delebrate me, mickey77, and her went to club dance in hollywood.

here's what metromix la has to say about the club:

"On Tuesdays, Hollywood club Arena is taken over by Dance, a high energy dance night for the youngins, who come decked out in their emo-chic, indie-punk glory and dance til 2 a.m. (or their bedtime, whichever comes first). Dance features a laser light system, two booty-bumpin' levels and that oh-so-important feature for tomorrow's youth: a smoking patio. Resident DJs include Paparazzi, Joaquin and the amazingly named Bip Jeffington spin all night long, and a weekly photo booth and videographers means that while you might not remember you spent last Tuesday night here, the Internet never forgets."

i was told i looked like a "bro" that night, you be the judge. click the photo to see more pictures!

my friend micky77 just moved here from san francisco and for this past weekend we've been hanging out everyday.

click photo to see more pics

here we are at the danielle kelly fashion show at the standard. i was told i looked like mr. t in that outfit. for those of you who don't know, the standard is a hotel downtown los angeles that has a lounging area at the rooftop, complete with a pool. you have to be a guest of the hotel or be on a guestlist to be allowed up there. here are some shots from mickey77's iphone.

mickey77 worked with one of the models on another runway show and we got to meet the designer. she said my look was "cute" and explained that she always needs new models. so maybe in the future, you'll be seeing me model for her.

mickey77 is a fellow model that just got signed to my old agency. we know and work with a lot of the same people. have a lot of the same interests, and are both new to living in the this city. its a breath of fresh air to have someone to go discover LA with. most of my friends from here live at home with their parents, or else aren't of the type that like to go explore (specially in the day time). most of my friends like to relax with their free time at home in familiar enviroments with family and friends. and don't get me wrong, i'm like that too to an extent.

but there's a curiosity that lives in me... towards the world. i like to goto new places and see new things.

ive gotten to meet a lot of his friends, and most of them arent from here. its so odd how in LA, no one is actually from LA. i guess even i'm included in that category. though i've lived in southern california for about 8 years now, i'm not from here either.

i was born in new jersy, moved to the suburbs of chicago sometime in my childhood, and moved to orange county for high school. i then went and graduated from uc santa barbara, so i moved from the east coast to the midwest to the west coast. my family moved here from cold chicago after my dad died. the dead winter cold was too hard on my mom without my dad so she sought sunshine.